Bleaching, waxing, plucking, threading, shaving, trimming…while these might sound like some sort of ancient torture method to some, for Hairy Girls, it’s just life. With the warmer months quickly approaching, and sleeves and pants legs getting shorter, I dread leg-shaving season. I’m probably not alone in this, considering the internet is already chockful of articles about “Hairy Girl Life”. I can attest that most all of them speak the truth, but, I dunno, when it comes from a stranger, it’s hard to believe that “normal” people actually have the proverbial monkey arms. Pair the normal struggles of copious body hair with skin in the shade of I’ve-Never-Seen-The-Sun (that’s what “Pale Ivory” really means in makeup terms), and nothing but trouble can ensue. So, I just thought I’d take a moment to let those struggling with insecurities about body hair know that you’re not the only one. It happens to the best of us because, hey, we can’t be 100% flawless. Over the years, I’ve learned to just be confident, and strut with yo’ prickly legs. Just in case you’re not convinced yet, here’s a semi-comprehensive list of benefits that accompany being a Hairy Girl.
- Extra warmth and insulation in the winter. Hey, why do you think bears stay so warm? Consider yourself lucky; your hair is so thick, it’s like nature’s earmuffs.
- You spend so much on hair removal products, you don’t have money to spend on stupid things. Between the wax, fancy tweezers, and bleach crème, you’ll never have money to fuel a gambling addiction.
- You usually get tons of compliments on how thick your hair is. “Oh my goodness, I wish I had hair as thick and lovely as yours!” DO NOT PUT THIS HEX ON YOURSELF, LADY.
- You learn to be confident in your body, no matter how furry it is. If you ask any girl with hairy arms or a peach fuzz mustache how many times others have mentioned it, she’d have to break out her hairy toes to count. Too far? Nah. It happens to the best of us. You come to realize that you’re amazing the way you are, even if you at times resemble Teen Wolf. Others love you for so many terrific qualities than just your fabulous looks, that they can look past the faint uni-brow and see a confident, fantastic, and capable person. So, Hairy Girls, UNITE!